


Scrooged

by cow_cookies



Category: MASH (TV)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-21
Updated: 2017-01-11
Packaged: 2018-09-10 20:20:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 7,213
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8937736
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cow_cookies/pseuds/cow_cookies
Summary: This was kind of inspired by my other fic and Mianmaru so I had to do it. Crossover of M*A*S*H and Scrooged. Hawk gets some visitors who help him.Be aware, there might be some less happy pictures, especially for those, who love Henry! (I know we all love Henry.) Not mainly H/M but I can’t write anything without at least a glimpse (or more) of it.





	1. An insane man

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks to mianmaru for betaing. This is for you! Luv ya!
> 
> Disclaimer: I don't own anything.

Hawkeye Pierce was stuck in the middle of the Korean war the second Christmas in a row. His mood was down and his anger steadily rising. He felt like he didn’t belong there, no one belonged there, but he was the most displaced civilian of them all. 

His mood was making him do cruel things to the people he called friends and even worse to his patients. This wasn’t the Pierce everyone knew, even though they had seen glimpses of it at times.

 

Hawkeye was on post-op duty. He had reached new lows, seeing the children lining up on the cots with bandages everywhere instead of being home, waiting for their presents under the tree. 

A nurse approached him, asking about the medication for one of the wounded.

 

“Are you really that simple-minded? Or just too lazy? It is all on the form. Just read it!” He yelled. 

 

“But Hawk,-” The nurse tried to answer.

 

“No! There is no ‘but Hawk’! Just do your work!” He was still furious but even he didn’t know why.

 

His duty went on and so did his yelling. He screamed at a few patients and two other nurses. Even Potter had to come and rebuke him, which lead to a big fight, where both were screaming at each other in front of the whole camp.

 

After his shift he was on his way to the Swamp as Margaret stepped in his path. 

 

“Hawkeye, what’s wrong with you? I’ve never seen you like this!” She showed great concern.

 

“Nothing! Just leave me ALONE!” 

 

“But Hawk,” She put a hand on his arm.

“No, Hot Lips! If you want to mother someone just find some General or someone  higher ranks and lay on your back!” He yelled out of his mind.

 

She slapped him hard, suppressing tears as she left towards her door.

 

He stormed into his tent, seeing and hearing Charles sit on his cot and play his classics. That was enough. He grabbed the record off the player and threw it towards the door. The anger was dripping of his face.

 

“Pierce, what the hell are you doing?” Charles got up, staring into his eyes. 

 

“You better leave at once or you are next to be smashed at the door.” Hawkeye growled threatening.

 

Charles left without a word and the black-haired turned towards his cot. He focused on it, forming a plan in his head. He would go home now. He started to pack his belongings, thinking of his dad and Crabapple Cove.

He must have been so deep in thoughts that he didn’t notice that BJ entered the tent, he thought as he heard the familiar sounds of someone pouring a drink from the still. He turned around and stopped dead in his tracks.

The big silhouette in front of him was more than familiar. From the hat with hooks down to his vest and the army boots. But it couldn’t be. The clothes of the man in front of him changed into a pinstripe suit and a big white hat.

 

“Henry?” Hawkeye sat down, not trusting his legs anymore. He must had been more drunk than he thought, but he couldn't remember drinking at all.

 

“Hey, Hawkeye this stuff is more rotten than I remember.” The former CO smiled, taking another sip. His clothes converted back into his army uniform.

 

“You are… dead…” Was all the younger could say and that was obvious because the man in front of him was not in the best condition. Some body parts were strangely dislocated and water was dripping from his body onto the floor.

 

“Oh really Pierce? You are quite smart, stating the obvious!” Henry teased him with a smile.

 

“But…” 

 

“I’m here to help you.” The older handed the black-haired a drink.

 

Hawkeye wasn’t able to speak. His mind discussed the options he had. He could just faint or maybe run for his life but his legs refused to work. Perhaps, he would just wake up because this couldn’t be anything else than a dream.

 

“Boy, you have to stop. You have to calm down and get back to the old you.” His former CO put his hand on the younger's shoulder. The sight of three broken fingers on him made Hawkeye instantly jump up and stumble backwards over his cot. Now sitting between the cot and shelf, Henry smirked down on him. “It’s okay, I know I’m not in the best shape but listen to me. You will end up like me, if you go know.”

 

“I… I… going… I’m going to die?” The black-haired spluttered. 

 

“No! Well maybe but-”

 

“Okay now listen to me, non-existing Henry, obviously, now I have totally lost my mind! So this is all I needed to be sure. I will go home immediately and you can’t stop me!” There was still fear and uncertainty in his voice.

  
“There will be three ghosts in the next day, to enlighten your mind.” With this, Henry drowned his drink and vanished into nothing. Hawkeye woke up with a start, his bag in his hands. He was looking around trying to get his head clear, assuming it had all be a dream.


	2. The ghost of the past

Hawkeye was still determined to go home immediately, his dream just urging him on. He cramped the rest of his stuff in the bag and was about to leave as he heard the PA announcing new casualties.

 

“ATTENTION ALL PERSONNEL! SANTA HAS PROVIDED SOME GIFTS! SO GET READY FOR TRIAGE ON THE DOUBLE!”

 

He frowned but couldn't bring himself to not do his duty so he made his way into the compound as the ambulances arrived.

No one dared talking to him. He was yelling orders to the medical staff, while examining the young soldiers on the stretchers. The chief surgeon was still on edge, contemplating to quit and walk out of this hellhole. He got to his feet and looked down the road leading out of the camp but in this moment he was ordered to scrub by Potter and he obeyed, with clenched teeth.

 

As the soap was running down his armes he was sure he heard ferret face giggling behind the curtains. Even though, he was annoyed that Margaret hung out with him, he didn’t think about it for more than a few seconds. Hawkeye had to focus on his patients. They were his last wounded before he would leave the camp and the bloody war, so he owed it to them.  

 

It was just another day in OR. Patients were wheeled in and placed on the operation tables. Nurses handed instruments to surgeons and blood was pumped into wounded children. Margaret volunteered to assist Hawkeye when she found out that all other nurses were frightened of him but the tension between them was palpable. 

 

“Scalpel!” 

 

“Scalpel!” She handed it to him a bit too hard for his liking but he bit his tongue. 

 

Out of impulse, Hawkeye looked up and saw a man standing at the door of the OR.

 

“Frank, why are you not performing malpractice on your table? We have more than enough to do!” He hissed towards the man. 

 

“Are you okay. Captain?” Margaret asked, slightly irritated.

 

“Of course. But your sweetheart doesn't want to participate in our little party here. So could you tell him what to do, like he is used to!” He contemptuously stated as he closed his patient.

 

“PIERCE!” She hissed but in this moment Burns pulled down his mask and sticked out his tongue towards Hawkeye. He couldn't let this go unpunished and went after ferret face, despite the fact that a new patient was waiting on his table. They made a round in the OR and then left towards the pre-op. The rest was left to wonder.

Hawkeye caught Frank outside the OR, pressing him to a wall and holding him on his collar. 

 

“I’m not in the best mood, my spineless friend! So you better go in there and help or have a good reason for not doing it, like being dead or something.”

 

Frank giggled his well known snicker, trying to wind out of the dead grip he was in.

 

“Maybe I’m not dead, but aren’t you surprised to see Winchester doing my work?” Frank hissed pointing towards the OR.

 

“Winch… wait… you are not supposed to be here… You went home!” Hawkeye let go of the other man. His hands automatically wandering into his own hair, ruffling it. He turned his back at Frank, floundering, “What’s happening to me? This must be another dream.”

 

“You are just going buggy!” Frank was grinning at him.

 

“Oh shut up, Frank! You are as annoying as in reality!” The black-haired was pacing up and down, trying to process the whole situation.

 

“Fella! I’m here to show you the past.” 

 

“WHAT? NO, I have no time! I have to save lives in there! And I’m quite sure you are not real, so...” 

 

“Let us get this over with, so we can return to lives devoid of each other!” The former Major rolled his eyes.

 

“Why did it have to be you? Of all of the people which could haunt me, why must it be you?” Hawkeye frowned. 

 

“Mhh… tell me about it!” Frank frowned back, while pushing him out of pre-op.

 

***

 

As soon as they stepped through the swing doors, Hawkeye was standing in front of his childhood home. He saw himself at the age of ten, running up the front porch through a huge amount of snow.. 

 

“Mum... Mum, you won’t believe what happened today!” The child shouted, entering the house.

 

“Ohh, look at you. So innocent and not at all the degenerat I met.” Burns chuckled before a dead glare silenced him. The vision got blurry and Hawkeye found himself on the balcony of his parents bedroom. His view fell on his mother in her bed. He couldn’t remember her looking that bad. She was white with black bags under her eyes. Her face was full of concern but as soon as his younger self entered the room there was a loving smile on her face and she made sure to look as good as possible.

The boy climbed on her bed and excitedly told his story. The adult Hawkeye turned around, so he didn’t have to see his mum. But with a wink of Frank, they were inside the room, the black-haired facing the bed again.

 

“Oh c’mon! I don’t want to see her!” He stated sadly.

 

“But you have to!” Frank chuckled delighted, “This is the best part of my job. I can torture you!””

 

“Shut up or I will correct the mistake of you not being dead!” Hawkeye threaded.

 

“Uhm…” Burns answered tilting his head a bit, like he’d always done when he didn’t dare to answer Hawk or Trapper in the past. 

 

“Quick-witted as always, Frank?”

 

Meanwhile the woman in the bed had patiently listened to the stories of her son. Hawkeye focused on her as she started to cough. The boy got off the bed and handed her a glass of water. After the coughing died down she placed the glass on her nightstand and pulled her son into a warm embrace. 

 

“Ben, you have to promise me something.” She had tears in her eyes. “Whatever happens, you have to make sure you will be happy. Find your purpose in life and be grateful for what it gives to you!”

 

“I promise, Mum. But-”

 

The vision began to blur again as he heard Frank say, “Ben? I thought everyone is calling you Hawkeye.”

 

“Yeah and that’s the reason! I couldn't stand, someone else saying it!” The black-haired returned painfully but regaining his composure fast, he added, ”What about you ferret face? Your brother must have loved you!”

 

“Oh you.. you!” 

 

“As I said a long time ago: Who are you calling a you-you?” The mocking expression still on his face,the kitchen of the house appeared around them. As soon as Hawkeye saw his father making the  _ Special Breakfast _ his mouth went dry.

 

“No, NO! I don’t want to endure this! NOT again!” He exclaimed furiously.

 

“But you have to!” Frank replied in a joyful singsang. A fist, out of nowhere, hit him in his face.

 

“Margaret!” Burns whined out of old habit even she wasn’t there. 

 

“Ahh… That's so much better!” The black-haired sighed relieved.

 

“Great, thank you…!” Burns muttered holding his cheek.  

 

Young Pierce entered to room. His father was turning around, reddened moist eyes locked on the young boy.

 

“Hey Ben, I made breakfast.”

 

The boy sat down at the table, waiting hungrily for the plate his father was bringing him.

 

“Where is mum?” He asked lightly, while devouring the food. “Doesn't she feel well?” 

 

“Um, Ben, listen… mum… mum is... “ 

 

The boy dropped his fork, nearly choking on the bite in his mouth upon seeing his father's expression. 

 

“NO! NO! You said she only had a cold! You are not telling me-”

 

“She is gone, Ben. The doctor couldn't help her.” 

 

“NO! Why didn’t you do something? You are a doctor as well! You could have helped her, you should have helped her!” The boy was screaming on the top of his lungs, tears were streaming down both versions faces. The boy got up and ran out of the room. His father remained in the kitchen, breaking down on the floor and sobbing helplessly. 

 

“Please let me go, Frank!” Was the only thing Hawkeye was able to choke out.

 

Burns winked.

 

The vision blurred for the third time.

 

“This was the moment you decided to become a doctor, right?” Frank was asking.

 

“Yes, I was sure I would have healed her... but to be honest no one could have…” There were still tears streaming down his face.

 

***

 

A flat materialised around them, it was the one he had shared with Carlye Breslin. 

 

“Oh, great! You really show me the two worst moments in my past? I guess this is the one where Carlye and I broke up?” Hawkeye sighed in resignation.

 

“That’s right!” Burns smirked.

 

“Careful, Burns!” The other growled.

 

“Just doing my job!” The smile on his face faded as he rubbed his cheek.

 

Breslin entered the room, yelling at someone outside and starting to decorate the Christmas tree. “I’m so fed up! I’m not at all important! Why is medicine so above all, for you? I should be special to you and not always only second in line! Another shift and another... Even on Christmas! Are you not going to say something?”

 

“I don’t get this! My work is important! And by the way, my internship is to be over soon and then we see what’s coming!” 

 

“You don’t understand, Hawkeye! I don’t want to wait for the things to come! I want to be important now!” She put down the bauble, she had in hand.

 

“But I have to work! Someone has to pay for our life!”

 

“And I’m not working? Okay, listen… I love you but I can’t stand it anymore! I need someone who treats me the way I deserve!” With this, she was out of the room and soon out of the flat.

The younger Hawkeye slumped on the couch, sighing deeply.

 

“I really loved her!” Commented the older one the scene.

 

“Why didn’t you follow her?” Burns asked nosy.

 

“Get your ass up from the couch and go after her!” Hawkeye yelled to his younger self, ”Even ferret face is clever enough to know that this is the worst decision you could have made!”

 

“Umpf!” Burns responded at the side blow but went on. “He can’t hear you!” 

 

“Look at me! In this whole fight I was only talking about my work! Not once I told her she was important!” 

 

Burns winked again and the vision blurred again.

 

***

 

An aid station was materialising and Hawkeye reflexively ducked his head as bombs were exploding close by. He saw himself standing at a kind of operating table, while Margaret was panicking on the other side of the room. 

 

“Great Burns! The front, really?” The disengaged Hawkeye stated with rolling eyes.

 

“You did great work here!” 

 

“You wouldn’t recognize great work, if it would hit you! But he, you finally went to the front too now, congratulation!” 

 

“Pierce!”

 

“Ferret face?”

 

“Uhg!”

 

Hawk focused on himself again. He was working fast and precise but it was not enough. Margaret had to help but wasn’t reliable enough, to do so. He talked her into it like he did with many nurses, on a different topic. This was the first time he had ever felt respect for the Major.

 

“See? You save lives while giving Margaret self confidence! Imagine what had happened if you hadn’t been there.”

 

Margaret was smiling at his other self, proudly. The shelling went on and so did the operations. 

He did save many lives this day but why shouldn’t he save himself, though.

 

“Let’s go back, Pierce!”

 

“Would you mind to fast-forwarding a bit?” Hawkeye smirked.

 

The time went by fast, people, wounded and stretchers flew around them.

 

“That’s it!” The black-haired indicated to stop.

 

The other Hawkeye just moved closer to Margaret covering her with his blanket and whispering. She smiled.

 

“MARGARET! I knew it… pah… well-oiled machine… You took advantage of her!” Burns was totally enraged.

 

“I did not!” Hawkeye replied in fake shock, “We just cuddled a bit.” He wiggled his eyebrow.

 

“And you had to show me this?”

 

“Of Course! I think I deserve a bit fun after all!” The black-haired was pleased.

 

With a loud groan and some curses under his breath, Burns winked.

 

***

 

Back at the camp Hawkeye was more sure about leaving then before.

 

“See? I have to go. My mum said I should be happy and this is no place to be happy.”

 

“But you saved lives, not only patients but ours as well. Medicine is your purpose in life and that’s what your mother said, too.”

 

“You just saw it! All that medicine and helping brought me was losing the love of my life and get me drafted here!”

 

“Did you ever consider that Breslin was not the love of your life and that you are here for a reason?” Franks teeth were clenched and the words were forced out.

 

“Oh, of course! There is another beautiful, competent and strong nurse running around somewhere else or even better HERE, just waiting for me. And-” Now it was Burns turn to hit his former bunkmate as hard as he could. “Degenerated idiot!”

  
  


As the black-haired came back to consciousness, he was sitting on a bench in pre-op. Margaret was shaking him awake, “Pierce! Pierce! You have to go back to work! We are drowning in wounded!”

  
“Don’t you have enough men to shake? Stop that!” He hissed sleepily before he was aware of his surroundings.


	3. The ghost of the present

After a never ending stint of operations, the chief surgeon slumped onto his cot. He decided a small nap would be okay before heading home. He had closed his eyes only seconds ago when nurse Kellye came in.

 

“Hawkeye?” She whispered in a sweet tone.

 

“GO AWAY!”

 

“Hawky, love!” Kellye called again. 

 

“Kellye, I try to be as polite as possible right now: PLEASE, GET LOST!”

 

She giggled as she seized his ear in two fingers and pulled him roughly into a sitting position.

 

“I said HAWKY, LOVE!” Her voice was keen.

 

“Ow, ouch… what… ow… Kellye... “

 

“You forgot our date?!” 

 

“No, we never had one. I would never…OW” She kicked his shin before he could finish his sentence.

 

“And that is a shame! You don’t know what you are missing! I’M CUTE AS HELL!” She still had his ear between her fingers, tugging on it.

 

“Uhm… AHH… I’m sure you are… What got into you?” He whined in pain trying to get his ear free.

 

“I’m here to show you, what you have done! You were a naughty little doctor!” With this, Kellye pulled him by his ear to his feet and shoved him out of the door.

 

Standing in front of the Swamp next to Kellye, he didn’t realised she was the next ghost, as Margaret came out of post-op. She had tears in her eyes and hurried towards her tent, so no one would see her cry.

 

“Margaret? Margaret what’s wrong?” His question was full of concern.

 

“She can’t hear you.” Came Kellye’s singsang. 

 

“Ohh no! You are the next one? I should have known! But Henry said ghosts. You are not dead. You don’t have even left our camp.” The chief surgeon dropped his head in resignation. 

 

“Oh honey, don’t worry! I will take care of you!” The nurse's voice was loving as she punched him in the guts. He bent over in pain. “Kellye, please stop! What did I do to deserve that?”

 

“As I said, you were a naughty little doctor!” Her voice was still soft.

 

“Can we now, go check on Margaret, please?” The worried tone was back.

 

“Sure! Go on!” The nurse smiled.

 

Hawkeye walked over to Margaret's tent, checking suspiciously on Kellye every second step, waiting for new pain. As they reached the door, Kellye went through it without hesitation, the black-haired followed but bumped hard onto the wood.

 

“Ouch…!” He rubbed his forehead, with a confused expression as Kellye’s head appeared through the still closed door. She smirked.

 

“Very funny. Very,  _ very  _ funny.” The man stated with an obviously faked gin.

 

“It is, isn’t it? NOW GET IN HERE!” Kellye giggled but the added words were spoken roughly.

 

He opened the door and saw Margaret on her cot. Tears streamed down her face and in an instant he was at her side, kneeling in front of her, covering her hands with his.

 

“Margaret, what's wrong?” 

 

“She still can’t hear you!”

 

“Right, so what's wrong with her?” He asked his ghost. A smack on the back of his head was his answer. “LISTEN!”

 

Margaret was sobbing. She pulled her legs up to her chest, picking up a crumbled picture that was lying next to her. 

 

“I thought we would be over this… I thought we are friends… Why is he doing this to me over and over again? I hate him! Why did he have to tear down my defences and leave me all vulnerable? I can’t even cope with this godforsaken war anymore.” A big sob escaped her mouth. “This stupid man…”

 

“What does she mean?” Hawkeye asked in confusion.

 

“You treated her really bad today, honey!” Kellye rolled her eyes.

 

“What? I don’t… I just… Maybe. But this wasn’t the first time. Back when Frank was still here-”

 

“But now you are friends, silly. You made her open up and then... You. Stab. Her. Everytime. She. Comes. Too. Near!” She dug her finger painfully into his chest with every word.  

 

“Ow… stop that!” He grabbed her finger but she was unsuspectedly strong, “I’m definitely not doing that on purpose. I didn’t even noticed.”

 

“Bad enough, though! But you should think about it in your sweet little mind!” She was now tapping his head forcefully.

 

Margaret had moved to her side, still weeping, “Why can’t I stop thinking about-”

 

Kellye jumped in, “That’s nothing for your ears!” She started singing a Christmas carol, loud and not hitting one note.

 

“Come on! Let me hear that! You are really annoying me!” He whined.

 

Kellye hit him hard and stars appeared in his vision. 

 

***

 

As the stars vanished, Hawkeye could see BJ and Potter sitting in the CO’s office, nursing a drink.

 

“I know you are worried about him but he will come to his mind. I’m sure.” Potter's words didn’t sound convinced at all. 

 

“He is yelling at everyone, he sleeps while he should operate, did you hear what he said to Margaret?” BJ was angry and concerned at once.

 

“I know but actually I don’t know what to do. I tried to talk to him but you saw how well that went… I’m more concerned about his round in OR, yelling at an invisible Frank…”

 

“Yeah, that was spooky… Do you think, he is going nuts?”

 

“At least, I’m thinking of calling Sidney.” 

 

“I’m not crazy! I’m just tired and depressed and I desperately want to go home! This place sucks!”

 

“But Hawky, don’t you see they need you?”

 

“Why should they? There will be someone else patching half dead kids back together!” For this he got a mighty strike right into his lower abdomen. He dropped to his knees right away.

 

“Because you are the one who is HOLDING THEM TOGETHER! Silly little boy.” Kellye held his head up by pulling on his hear. She smiled lovingly at him, placing a soft little kiss on his chin. Her ambivalent behavior made him more than confused. The changes in her voice from nice, friendly, loving to hard, keen or threatening doesn’t help either.

 

“But If you call Sidney, he might take Hawk with him. Can you imagine this place without him?” BJ asked, as to stress Kellye’s statement.

 

“But BJ, we should think about what's best for Hawkeye. Even if it wouldn’t be a picnic for us.” 

 

“A PICNIC? Colonel are you aware that most of the people will go crazy without him?”

 

“Most of the people or just-”  

 

This time the black-haired saw the fist coming but wasn’t able to avoid the strike. Stars.

 

***

 

He was blinking the stars away again as he thought about his unavoidable upcoming headache. As his vision cleared, the chief surgeon noticed the familiar surroundings. They were standing in Crabapple Cove’s only Diner. Christmas carols lingering in the air and as always it was not very crowded. But at one table, he could spot his dad with some of his friends. Without hesitation, the black-haired walked over. His father was looking like the day he had left for Korea. The urgent need to go home became more acute inside Hawkeye. 

 

“Daniel? Are you lost in thought again?” Asked Mr. Bishop, eyeing the addressed closely.

 

“Um? Well, yeah, it is a long time since Hawk left. I was wondering what he is doing at the moment.” Came the response absentmindedly.

 

“Well, I’m apparently going nuts because I’m actually standing next to you, hearing you, even though I’m in Korea!” The black-haired muttered. 

 

“Oh honey, JUST LISTEN!” The change between Kellye’s soft and rough tone made him jump. 

 

“I’m sure you miss him terribly! I’m hoping he is coming home every day now!” Mrs. Stone said softly, placing her hand on Daniel’s. His father was looking lovingly towards her.

 

“DAD!” Hawkeye was shocked. His father wasn’t meant to be in love or any such things.

 

“I hope that too but my son is doing good there. He saves many lives of poor young boys. His  M*A*S*H unit has a survival rate of 98%! I’m proud of his work. Hopefully he’ll make it home safe, even it takes a few more years!” The mixture of sadness and pride in his father's voice let tears well up in the chief surgeon's eyes.

 

“I’m coming home, dad. As soon as pos-” Stars and pain. Pain and stars.

 

***

 

“Hawky, love! GET UP!” He snapped his eyes open at her voice. They were back in the middle of the compound and he felt really bad. His head was hurting and his heart was aching for home. 

 

“So sweetheart, did you understand now?” He asked Kellye, “ I do no good here. I’m treating my friends badly and I’m the reason why they are worried, so just let me go home and every one will be better off!”

 

“If you think your friends don’t need you, what about your patients? Didn’t you hear your dad? He abdicated, you being safe at home, because you do IMPORTANT things over here!” 

 

One last punch. Stars, one last time.

 

***

 

He found himself lying on his cot. He checked his body, not finding any pain or bruises. The surgeon was relieved. Fetching himself a drink from the still, he thought about his ‘hopefully-it-was-a’ dream.

The door swung open and BJ entered the Swamp, looking anxiously towards his friend.

 

“Hey Hawk, are you alright?”

 

“Why shouldn’t I?” The black-haired muttered. 

 

“Sidney is coming in for a poker game tomorrow.” BJ ignored the angry retour.

 

“Is he just coming for a game or because you and Potter think I’m nuts?” Hawkeye asked with annoyance.

 

“No… I… We… What?” The blond was caught off guard.

 

Suddenly a thought hit the chief surgeon, if he was right and Sidney was coming then Margaret was crying in her tent. “I have to go!” With this he was out of the Swamp.

 

On his way, nurse Kellye crossed his path. He jumped and ducked down as she lifted her hand to simply let it rest on his arm.

 

“Are you alright, Hawkeye?” Kellye worried in her normal voice.

 

“What, right, Yes I am. Why is everyone asking me this?” He tautened himself and left her standing as she stared after him in disbelief.

 

He knocked on the door of the Major. It came no response. He knocked again and waited, trying to be patient. Still no response. He opened the door slightly and saw Margaret sleeping on her cot. She wasn’t crying, this was easing the black-haired’s mind. His view fell on a crumbled picture in her hand. The thought of him being the one making her cry, hit him hard. Hawkeye sneaked into the blonde’s tent, taking a seat across of her. He watched her sleep, while rearranging his mind. The photo fell to the ground as she turned. It was her in his arms, taken at one of their many parties. 

  
“I’m sorry.” He whispered, placing a soft kiss on her head as he left.


	4. The ghost of the future

It was dinner time by now and the black-haired was packing again. He found his bag emptied as he came back from the Major's tent. That caused a fight between him and BJ. After his bunkmate left angrily, Hawk needed some time and several drinks to calm down.

Somehow, while packing, rolls of toilet paper kept appearing in his bag. He was truly annoyed by this as he threw them through the Swamp.

 

“What the hell is this?!” He yelled.

 

“Do you really want to go home with empty hands?” A voice came floating through the tent, “I was always the smarter one of us!” Hawkeye turned in horror, seeing an all too familiar face smirking at him.

 

“Thank god, Trap! It’s you! You won’t beat me up? Or enjoy my torture? You are my friend, right?” Hawkeye was close to a nervous breakdown already knowing the reason his friend was here.

 

“Calm down, Hawk! Everything will be alright but I’m not here for some light chatting. You won’t enjoy our little trip into the future, so better be prepared.”

 

“But why, Trapper?”

 

“Because you are a jerk, a selfish, stubborn jerk!” Trap simply stated.

 

“Oh well, don’t hold it back! I can bear the truth.” Hawkeye mocked but dropped on his cot in defeat.

 

“What shall I say, buddy? That's the way it is.” The former bunkie made his way to the still, filling a thermos flask with gin. The black-haired was staring into space, until he saw a glass, being held in front of him.

 

“To us!” Trapper cheered. As his friend took the alcohol and drowned it in once.

 

The Swamp was spinning around and transforming into a neatly cleaned tent, all military.

 

“Gosh, what happened?” Hawkeye asked shocked.

 

“That’s how it looks like without you.”

 

“But BJ wouldn’t let it come to THIS!” The chief surgeon was gesturing towards the clean ground.

 

“Let’s go, have a look around.” The other pushed him gently towards to door. As they exited the tent, broad sunlight was hitting their eyes. Nothing seemed the same. Hawkeye didn’t recognized a lot of faces. He saw Potter and Klinger; some nurses but most of the people around were strangers.

Potter looked a lot older. The lines on his face had multiplied and deepened. He didn’t seem to be his old relaxed self but a full army Colonel. Hard and adamantly.

The PA announced wounded.

 

“ATTENTION ALL PERSONNEL, INCOMING WOUNDED. ALL SHIFTS HAVE TO REPORT, IMMEDIATELY!”

 

“What happened to the funny little announcements?” Hawkeye inquired.

 

“Gone!”

 

The ambulances pulled into the compound and a big mess of people, orders and wounded were flying around the camp. It took way too long to classify the wounded and bring them into OR. By now Hawkeye was desperately shouting around, trying to help and even attempted to grab a stretcher.

 

“Trapper, how can you simply stand there? Four boys already died because of this incompetent dealing with the triage! Why is Potter not doing something?”

 

“He tries!” Trap pointed towards the CO, which was helplessly attempting to get some structure into the chaos.

 

“But where are BJ ...and Margaret ...and Charles?”

 

“Gone!”

 

Speechless, Hawkeye followed the confusion into OR. In there it was more than chaotic, it was an inferno. He turned away, not able to suffer this situation.

 

“Where are my friends?” His head was hanging low, his voice cracked.

 

His former bunkie handed him another drink.

 

***

 

As soon as the other drowned it, the OR was spinning and transforming into a small room with gray walls and chain-link fence at the windows.

 

“What’s this? A loony farm?” Hawkeye joked.

 

“Yes.” The other remained serious.

 

“What? But why are we here then?” Cried the black-haired in surprise.

 

“Look closer!”

 

On a metal bed in one of the corners, a well known pompous man stirred. The chief surgeon was in shock as the door opened and Sidney walked in. The shrink was taking a chair and placed it in front of of the bed.

 

“Hey Charles, how are we today?” Sidney's soft voice indicated anxiety. No response.

 

“What happened to Charles? Why is he not answering?” Hawkeye questioned irritated.

 

“He had a breakdown shortly after you left.”

 

“Why?”

 

“He had to witness a cruel death. He tried his best to safe the person but, eventually, the other died in his arms. He could not cope with it. As soon as he sees blood or scrubs or something like this, he starts to cry and yell.”

 

“I can’t believe this has happened to Charles. He was the one who always had at least his dignity.”

 

“A lot of people would break down about this.”

 

“But he was in this hellhole like we were. He saw a lot of death and a lot of cruelty.”

 

“Yes but he never lost a dear friend! Cheers!” Trapper poured another drink and handed it over.

 

***

 

Again the room started spinning and transforming into the kitchen of his home. Daniel was sitting at the table caressing the photographed cheek of his son.

 

“Hawk, what have you done? Was it this unbearable?” Daniel was whispering down at the picture.

 

“What have I done?” Hawkeye repeated unsure.

 

“You deserted.”

 

“But then, why am I not here and why is he so sad? ”

 

“You got court-marshaled and sent in for 25 years. You are dishonorable discharged and your medical degree is gone as well.”

 

“Oh… well sounds like fun, though! At least I have time to read, then.” He grinned towards his escort.

 

“Always the same old joker!” The other frowned. “Time for a drink, right?”

 

***

 

The Kitchen was spinning and transforming into a compound. Hawkeye noticed immediately this wasn’t the 4077th. The tents where in different places and the surroundings were different as well. No hills, just trees and a sign saying ‘MASH 6055th’.

 

“What are we doing here? I have never heard of this unit. I can’t have ruined someone's life in here.” The black-haired exclaimed as a thought hit him, “Oh… please tell me no one is pregnant!”

 

“Wait!” Trapper giggled.

 

A second later BJ was coming out of a supply room and walking towards the mess tent, in full clean uniform, with a stern look on his face. Hawkeye was nearly fainting as he saw him. Soon a nurse left the same room as BJ before. Walking happily into the other direction. The black-haired had seen this expression on nurses faces a lot, mostly caused by him but wasn’t able to get the picture, thinking of the BJ he knew.

 

“What is he doing here? Why isn’t he at the 4077th?” He asked, still puzzled.

 

“He hadn’t anyone left to rely on. He started drinking too much, more than anyone of us and fooling around with the nurses. Soon he was transferred.”

 

“What about Marg-..., HE DID WHAT? FOOLING AROUND?” The chief surgeon yelled.

 

Trepper went behind the mess tent signaling to follow. The other rounded the corner of the tent and stopped dead. BJ was leaning against a pole, in his arms a cute red-haired nurse. He bent down to kiss her passionately, asking her if the date was still on.

 

“Peg left him. It is a pity. I would have loved to know the normal BJ. Can you imagine all the three of us in the 4077th?” Trapper chuckled at this thought.

 

“Amerika would have lost the war within two month.” Hawk smirked sadly, eyeing his friend still leaning at the pole with the nurse. “Okay, I can’t stand that anymore! Am I able to change the future?”

 

“Yes but there is still one fact I have to show you. It might be the worst, so let us drink to that!”

 

“Great!” Stated the black-haired sarcastically and gulped down the alcohol.

 

***

 

The compound began to spin and transform into a graveyard.

 

“Perfect! Now you show me my funeral and the non-existing audience?” Hawkeye's voice was dripping with sarcasm .

 

“No... I can only repeat: selfish to the bones…” Trapper was shaking his head, grinning.

 

“So, well, who’s dead?” Fear was creeping into his voice.

 

Trap was pointing towards a group of soldiers and civilians, gathered around a grave in the distance. Together, they strolled over, getting slower with every step. Hawkeye could eventually see the tombstone and recoiled instantly. It said:

 

’Major Margaret J. Houlihan

Beloved Daughter And Loyal Friend’.

 

“That’s why BJ left and Charles freaked out. Winchester saw her dying, he held her in his arms even after she was already gone.” Trapper explained softly.

 

“No! NO! She can’t die! How?” The black-haired felt his knees give out.

 

“She got shot by a sniper as she went to the aid station.” The companion replied sadly.

 

“But…” Hawkeye couldn’t say more.

 

“She wanted to forget. You know, she was always trying to hide behind her work.”

 

“Forget? What?”

 

“You, Hawk. The last thing she saw was a picture of you, she kept in her pocket!” Trapper shook his head in resignation.

The other was still on his knees, crying about his loss. He wouldn’t have imagined that this could tear him apart.

 

“Now, I’m in a sorry state! I surrender! Please let me go home.” He wept.

 

“You can’t go home, Hawkeye. You have to go back to the 4077th and stay there, for the greater good!” The ghost growled.

 

“That’s what I meant. I want to go home!” The black-haired got up to his feet, steadily holding the other's gaze.

 

“We should drink to that!” Was the cheerful answer.

 

“Wait! Trap one last question!”

 

“What is it?”

 

“Why didn’t you leave a note?”

 

There was a long pause.

 

“I felt guilty, buddy! I didn’t know what to say. I even don’t know now! I was going home and left you behind in this godforsaken war!”

 

“Cheers!”


	5. An enlightened mind

He was on his cot again, in his hands a roll of toilet paper with a note scribbled on:

 

Dear Hawk,

thanks for being my friend in the best and worst!

I will always miss you!

Goodbye,

Trap

 P.S.: If you screw it up again I will send you Frank permanently!

 

Hawkeye was widely smirking about the note as someone sat down next to him. He couldn’t suppress a shocked scream as he saw Henry.

 

“Aww… you still look awful, Henry!” He managed to get out.

 

“Ay, Pierce… You know I miss you. All of you.” His former CO. said softly.

 

“I’m sorry for you Henry. It was not fair.”

 

“No it wasn’t. But now I’m able to see my kids grow without those nasty assignments like being a father AND a husband…” The older joked.

 

“But-”

 

“Listen carefully, as you saw you have a special task in Korea. Whenever you lose your faith in doing good around here, remember!” With this Henry was gone.

Hawkeye got from his cot and ran into the compound. In the sunlight, all the fear and angst was quickly washed away and he felt great again. Not even the cold wind and the snow around him were able to change that.

BJ was coming out of the mess tent, eyeing him suspiciously as Hawk was spinning around his own axis with open arms. Potter, Charles and Klinger followed suit.

 

“I’m positive! He is nuts!” BJ said to the others.

 

“It was just a matter of time.” Charles replied, turning on his heels and walking back in.

 

Margaret came out of her tent staring in confusion at the scene. More people gathered around the obviously crazy man. The head nurse moved closer to him.

 

“Hawkeye?” She asked with concern.

 

He stopped as he heard her voice, taking in her sight, all alive and healthy. With two long steps he was in front of her, pulling her into his arms. He dipped her in a deep, passionate kiss. She was not prepared and so it took her a long time to respond. But at length she managed to push him back, glaring into his eyes.

 

“I’m sorry. I won’t do that again. I’m sorry but please don’t… don’t leave me!” He whispered as he pulled her to his chest, hugging her close.

 

“Holy cow!” Potter was amazed.

 

“Yep, he is nuts.” Klinger stated in annoyance, “Why can’t I be the lucky one?”

 

Margaret was still totally flushed by the chief surgeon's behavior as he tugged her over to the other’s by her hand.

 

“Look at you, Beej! No proper uniform, all dirty and filthy. It is so great.” Hawkeye was beaming, still holding the blonde’s hand. “Don’t worry Colonel Potter! The triage and OR will handled as you are used to! Oh and there she is, my ‘cute-as-hell’ nurse!” He let go of the hand and embraced Kellye, whispering “Please don’t hit me again!” She looked shocked and vanished as fast as she could into the pre-op.

 

“Hawk, are you alright?” BJ asked.

 

“Oh I love this question! Yes I’m fine. I’m totally fine. Now that I found my sanity again, it is all fine!” Hawkeye answered joyfully.

 

“Uhm? Okay… what made you so happy?” Potter inquired insecure.

 

“Just some messages from old friends!” He was gazing up to the roof of the OR. Burns, Henry, Kellye and Trapper were sitting there, looking cheerfully down at him. Trapper winked and he had no doubt what his friend meant, especially as he saw Frank’s scrunched up face.

 

He turned to Margaret, taking her in his arms again and resting his forehead against hers, “It is so great to be home!” He quietly admitted so only the blonde could hear.

Smiling softly, she rewarded him with a kiss.

  
The end!


End file.
